As National Grief Awareness Day approaches on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., is shedding light on why some people remain stuck in grief for years, unable to access fond memories of their loved ones. According to Swack, the key culprit is unresolved trauma, which can cause the body's fight-flight-freeze response to become conditioned to the moment of loss, triggering painful reactions to reminders of the deceased.
Swack, author of the book "Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck," which recently won the 2026 Silver Medal for Grief Books from the Coalition of Visionary Resources, explains that healing begins with calming this trauma response so the nervous system no longer reacts as if the loss is happening in the present. She outlines five practical steps for those struggling with grief.
First, she advises separating the trauma from the person you loved. Many fear that letting go of the trauma means losing their connection to the deceased. Swack argues the opposite: trauma can become fused with the memory of a loved one, causing pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without erasing the relationship.
Second, Swack encourages identifying the "hidden layers" beneath grief, which often include shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and helplessness, not just sadness. Third, she suggests listening for limiting beliefs that loss may have created, such as "It's my fault," "People always leave me," or "I'm powerless," which can affect relationships and self-confidence long after the loss.
Fourth, Swack points to the feeling of emptiness—a deep "hole" in the chest or stomach—as a hallmark of unresolved loss trauma. People often try to fill this void with work, food, or relationships, but recognizing it as part of the trauma response can lead to healthier healing. Finally, she emphasizes that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or "moving on." Instead, it allows individuals to stop reliving the worst moment and begin remembering the love and joy that came before.
"Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person," Swack said.
Swack, a biochemist and immunologist, developed the Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™) methodology, a system that clears trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels. She will present a "Clear Trauma Now Live Healing" webinar on Thursday evenings in September. For more details, visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience. Her work is further detailed at HBLU.org.
Swack's insights come at a time when many are seeking effective ways to cope with grief, offering a roadmap that moves beyond traditional approaches by addressing the root trauma that can keep people stuck.
