SOUTHLAKE, TX – After more than three decades in the medical device industry, Bryan Scott McMillan has learned that leadership extends far beyond the boardroom. His most profound lesson came through personal loss. Following the death of his wife to cancer, McMillan experienced the isolating nature of grief and eventually founded Families with Holes, an organization dedicated to connecting grieving families with practical support and counseling resources.
Now, McMillan is urging communities to show up for grieving families in tangible ways. “People think they need the perfect words,” he said. “The families I have met rarely remember exactly what someone said. They remember who kept calling three months later. They remember who brought dinner on an ordinary Tuesday. They remember who stayed.”
The need for such support is immense. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 3 million people die each year in the United States, leaving millions of spouses, children, parents, friends, and coworkers to cope with loss. Research also estimates that approximately one in twelve children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before adulthood, highlighting the widespread need for grief support.
Despite these numbers, many grieving families report feeling isolated after the first few weeks following a loss. “We rush toward people immediately after a funeral,” McMillan said. “Then life speeds back up. Grief doesn't. The hardest conversations often happen months later, after everyone else has gone back to normal.”
Drawing from his executive career, McMillan sees parallels between business problem-solving and supporting the bereaved. “In business, we solved problems by paying attention and following through,” he said. “Helping grieving families works much the same way. Listen first. Keep your promises. Stay consistent.”
Research supports the importance of consistency. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has identified social isolation and loneliness as significant public health concerns linked to higher risks of depression, heart disease, dementia, and other serious health conditions. Supportive relationships can improve emotional well-being and aid recovery after major life events.
McMillan offers concrete actions for those who want to help: call someone who has lost a loved one, mark important anniversaries and birthdays, offer specific help rather than general offers, bring a meal or run errands, invite grieving friends for a walk or coffee, listen without trying to solve problems, support local grief centers, encourage children to express grief in their own way, and continue reaching out long after others have stopped.
“My hope isn't that everyone becomes a counselor,” McMillan said. “My hope is that more people become the kind of friend who keeps showing up. That's how stronger families and stronger communities are built.”
McMillan believes leadership is defined by how we treat others in difficult times. “At the end of the day,” he said, “people rarely remember your title. They remember how you treated them when life became difficult.”
